Last updated on January 11, 2024
I turned 30 a few weeks back. Some say that makes me an adult, but I often feel that’s a destination that works itself ever further away with every passing year. Wonder keeps one young, and this life fills me over and over.
However, despite not yet knowing the feeling of the word adult, I have decided to commemorate my birthday on this blog with 30 of my thoughts at 30. I feel a little shy about this as it’s not only a birthday cliche but could also appear somewhat arrogant.
I’m more young and foolish than old and wise, and I struggle to follow my own advice, but I enjoy reading thoughts from everyone, so here I’ll add mine to the mix. Thank you, as always, for reading.
1. Be the change you want to see in the world. Thatβs my favourite advice ever spoken.
2. Allow your opinions of your loved ones the space to grow. Just because someone was selfish/loud/arrogant when you were 16 doesnβt mean theyβre the same now. People can and do change.
3. If you see a friend lose someone they love, donβt wait for them to be over it. As I said in a recent post, grief doesnβt go away, it merely changes shape.
4. When you find yourself being self-critical and mean to yourself, think about how youβd treat a child in the same position. We all need mothering.
5. There isnβt just one way to be healthy. Please donβt be evangelical about your way over others.
6. Relationships often hold a mirror to ourselves. We will not always like what we see. Try not to lash out, but be humble, admit your faults and find the strength to change.
7. Never underestimate the power of the placebo effect.
8. Wouldnβt it be wonderful if bikes were prioritised over cars?
9. We are all addicted to something. Donβt judge people by their vice.
10. Too much bickering is perpetuated through the βhe said, she said, no you said, but I saidβ debate. Memories are fallible. Sometimes we did say what weβre sure we didnβt, and sometimes we misremember what has been said to us. You, I, we are not always right. Let it go.
11. Asking someone why theyβre vegetarian at the dinner table is nearly always going to be awkward.
12. One of the worst things I ever heard a man say was this: βWomen should all come with baggage labelsβ. Itβs experience that makes you stronger, wiser and more compassionate. NaΓ―ve idealism is often more difficult.
13. Donβt just dance like no-one is watching, live like no-one is watching too. To live in fear of peopleβs judgments is a prison of your own making.
14. Compassion is often the answer.
15. The people who are most difficult to us are often our greatest teachers. Thereβs no need to be masochistic about it but donβt be too quick to judge / blame.
16. Travelling is not always synonymous with vacation / holiday time. It can be an education and a way of life.
17. There is no such thing as security.
18. Be careful what you say to children. Youβre helping to shape their mind.
19. Choice is dazzling. Donβt let it cripple you. You can make the best of any option.
20. You cannot extract yourself from the world. You are part of it. To look after yourself, you must look after it and everything within it.
21. Give yourself time to play.
22. Be authentic. Donβt present yourself as different to what you are. Through pretense youβre adding to the collective and impossible pursuit of an ideal that doesnβt exist. We need to be vulnerable.
23. Exercise really does make you feel better.
24. There is nothing airy-fairy about mindfulness. It gives us the power to change.
25. Go outside. Look at the details. Let it blow your mind.
26. You cannot hide from your problems. If something is niggling at you, deal with it. Go to the doctor, change your job, communicate with your partner. Youβll thank yourself for it.
27. Things are nearly always worse in your mind.
28. Everything you read is made up of layers, from the publication to the journalist to the funders, to the situation and your own perspective. Be inquisitive.
29. Life is unpredictable. Donβt save your happiness for the future.
30. There is no ivory tower destination of success. Donβt be intimidated by those you look up to. We are all human and we are all finding our way.
And a bonus one: Gratitude is a great antidote to suffering. Thereβs always something to be thankful for.
happy late birthday!
My favorite one is number 29… π
Great words of wisdom, Victoria. As a vegetarian, I especially agree with #11. Worst place/time to ask a veggie why they are a veggie!!! Take care and happy birthday.
Love this! Really great advice. I’d also add ‘forgive easily’. I’ve seen so many people hold grudges for years and it’s just crippled them.
That’s so true. Definitely one for the list. Thanks Carmen π
Young and wise are not incompatible <3
LOVE!
<3 Miss you!
Perfect advice π I very much like “choice is dazzling” – too often I let choices overwhelm me but in actual fact they’re such a blessing. A very happy birthday Victoria!
Ah yes, I’ve often been caught up in the dazzle of choice only to realise it was a blessing. Thanks Flora π
I whole-heartedly agree with number 1. Right on! I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the pictures with the quotes – so beautiful!
Thank you Pauline. Pleased you like the pics π
#29! Happy Birthday π
Thanks Alana π
Nice thoughts Victoria, very wise! I love #29 especially because I learnt that on y own skin, being vegetarian I also agree with #11.
Happy belated birthday! π
Thanks Franca π
Happy happy birthday! I hope you’re having some wonderful celebrations.
And I love this post. No.29 is my favourite.
Thanks Monica. It seems 29 is definitely a favourite.
Thanks Monica. It seems 29 is definitely a favourite!
Inspirational. I turn 30 this year as well and have been reflecting lots on life and what it means. You’ve put together some great thoughts here!
Thanks Adam! We’re back in Berlin now. Hopefully see you soon!
Buff… What. A. Post. Seriously!
Phenomenal “micro-manifesto” you created here Victoria and it’s almost impossible to pick a favourite. I would rather consider turning this collection into “The wee flip-book of mundane marvels”. Taking it out every once in a while and see how the magic unfolds and what message serendipity is sending your way… π
Thanks for that Victoria and keep sparkling!
Aw, thank you Oliver. That is high praise indeed. I do love flip books…
Wow, this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in a long time. Such deep wisdom. Thank you for sharing your loving truths with us <3
Thank you. I’m so pleased it touched you. Thank you for your thanks!
Beautiful words, wise thoughts! Something to remember, even if it’s not always so easy…